Even though Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are currently enjoying a happily ever after, she hasn’t always had such good luck with love. It’s easy to overlook the fact that she was married to Tom Cruise for eleven years, from 1990 to 2001, and that their tumultuous divorce was front and center in tabloids during that period.

Even though a lot of time has gone, reading about how their relationship ended is still fascinating, and new details continue to surface. In the midst of a tornado of turbulence and grief, Kidman achieved what is maybe her greatest triumph, and she recently revealed one of the most emotionally fraught moments of her remarkable career.

As any admirer of the actress knows, Kidman won an Oscar in 2003 for her depiction of Virginia Woolf in The Hours, and the finalization of her divorce from Cruise occurred shortly before the ceremony.

Isabella, 31, and Connor, 28, were adopted by Cruise and Kidman after they become one of Hollywood’s power couples in the previous decade. Regrettably, it collapsed after eleven years.

They did get a divorce in the end, but it couldn’t have happened at a worse moment for Kidman. Despite the actress’s Oscar nomination for her role in The Hours, her divorce from Cruise cast a shadow on what should have been a career-defining performance.

Despite winning the Oscar—her first and only to date—Kidman has stated that her private life marred her great night.

This is what she had to say to author Dave Karger in his new book 50 Oscar Nights: “I went home and ended up ordering takeout and eating it on the floor of the Beverly Hills Hotel,” as related by People. After enjoying some French fries and a burger on the motel floor with my family, I retired for the night. I was taken aback by that. I went in search of love because I really need a romantic partner. For the simple reason that this is where you should say, “This is ours.”

I was in bed before midnight; I went to bed alone,” she continued. I would be gone for a whole day if I ever won again.